Today, I'm Getting Back On Track!

Today, I’m getting back on track!

How many Mondays have you said this to yourself?

How many times have you started your week with promises to eat better, eat less, eat clean, eat perfectly?

This used to be my weekly pattern.

I would lie in bed on Sunday night regretting how badly I felt I had eaten all weekend.

To quiet my inner food police and alleviate the guilt, shame and anxiety I felt, I’d promise myself that, starting tomorrow, things would be different.

Full of Hope
I’d wake up Monday feeling excited and hopeful about getting my act together.

Often, I’d be “good” and feel in control for the first few days of the week.

By Thursday night, however, things would start to fall apart. My discipline and willpower would begin to diminish.

I’d find myself obsessing about food, giving into my cravings, breaking my food rules, and reuniting with all the “bad” foods I declared off-limits on Monday.

I would try to fight it for a while, but eventually, I’d just throw my hands in the air exclaiming, “What the hell! I might as well just go for it because come Monday, I’m never letting myself do this again!”

Endless Cycle
Every weekend became a Last Supper.

It was an endless, exhausting cycle.

When I finally hit rock bottom and realized how damaging my diet mentality was, I began taking steps toward healing my relationship with food and my body.

This included breaking up with diet culture, ditching my diet mentality and food rules, and learning how to eat intuitively again.

Of course, this didn’t happen overnight.

Intuitive Eating is not a quick fix. It is, however, a pathway to freedom.

Since there are no rules and no illegal foods, there's no possibility of being bad, failing the plan and getting thrown in dieting jail.

Just Another Day
Now, Mondays are just another day for me.

The idea of “getting back on track” doesn’t enter my mind on the first day—or any day—of the week.

If you have a pattern of "starting over tomorrow" with your eating, please know that the desire to do so is completely understandable. It's natural to turn toward whatever might make you feel better.

However, instead of being stuck on this emotionally-draining roller coaster, I invite you to reflect on how it would feel to have a steady, peaceful relationship with food. How might your life change if every day of eating was just another day?

Do You Think About Food Nonstop?

Do you spend a lot of time, energy and headspace thinking about food?

Is it hard to focus on work, concentrate on a book or show, or stay present while socializing because you’re distracted by thoughts about what you’re allowed to eat, when you’re allowed to eat, what you shouldn’t have eaten, or what you really want to eat but won’t let yourself have?

If this describes your experience, it’s most likely because:

1/ You are not eating enough

and/or

2/ You are not eating what you really want

If you are restricting your food intake because you’re following a plan, program or rules that dictate your eating, it’s only natural that you will feel both physically and psychologically deprived and thus feel preoccupied with food.*


Not About Willpower, Discipline or Addiction
Constant thoughts about food are not due to a lack of willpower, poor self-discipline or food addiction, despite what our diet culture wants you to believe.

When your very wise body is not getting its nourishment needs met because it’s experiencing hunger and food deprivation, it will do everything it can to get you to eat, including flooding your mind with thoughts of food.

In order to stop obsessing about food, you need to:

1/ Honor Your Hunger
Eat as soon as possible when your hunger sensations surface—or before they do if you anticipate becoming hungry yet circumstances won’t enable you to stop and eat (e.g., a work situation where eating isn’t possible).

If you feel disconnected from your hunger cues, which can happen if you have a history of ignoring or suppressing them, set a reminder to check in with your body at regular intervals to assess your hunger level and honor its needs.

2/ Eat Unconditionally
Give yourself full, unconditional permission to eat whatever you want whenever you want—assuming you have access to it and don’t have any limitations due to a health condition, such as a nut allergy or celiac disease.

For some, this approach to eating may sound reckless. It isn’t. It's about letting your internal cues guide your eating decisions instead of external rules and eating whatever tastes and feels the most satisfying to you.


Be Aware of Pseudo-Permission
Be aware, however, that it is possible to believe you are giving yourself unconditional permission to eat when you’re actually giving yourself pseudo-permission.

Pseudo-permission means you are granting yourself permission to eat something while simultaneously depriving yourself of it in the future.

This often shows up with thoughts such as “It’s okay if I eat pancakes for breakfast as long as I don’t eat any carbs for the rest of the day” or “I’ll let myself eat these chips, but I’m not going to buy them again for a long time” or “I can eat sweets on the weekend but not on weekdays.”

If you still find yourself consumed by food thoughts after practicing “unconditional eating” for a long time, it’s quite likely you are actually just giving yourself pseudo-permission to eat by putting conditions on your eating.

This is completely understandable, especially if you have a deeply engrained diet mentality, which can operate on a subconscious level and take time to let go of.


Space for More Fulfilling Things
When your body’s nourishment needs are fully satisfied and you no longer feel a sense of deprivation or scarcity, food will take a balanced place in your life.

You will think about food much less, ultimately freeing up space for more fulfilling, meaningful things.

If you have a long history of dieting and disordered eating, honoring your hunger and giving yourself unconditional permission to eat will likely feel very scary and challenging at first.

Your eating may feel off-kilter or out-of-sorts for a while; this is a normal part of the process. Once you and your body truly trust that your needs will be consistently met, these feelings will subside.

It’s essential to be patient and compassionate with yourself and to get support, whether from an Intuitive Eating-informed counselor, therapist, nutritionist, online community, podcast or all of the above.

I encourage you to also keep reminding yourself of what’s on the other side of this sometimes hard and messy healing work: a peaceful, balanced and liberating relationship with food.

*It’s important to note that these feelings can also be due to food insecurity if you don’t have reliable access to enough food because of financial constraints or other barriers. If this is the case, I encourage you to seek out local food banks and public assistance programs. Here’s a good place to start.

I Thought I Had to Earn the Right to Eat

As I was standing in line at my favorite bakery following a Sunday morning run, the woman next to me exclaimed:

Well, you certainly deserve a pastry! You've earned it!

Years ago, when I was entrenched in diet culture, I would have completely agreed with her.

Back then, I believed in order to enjoy a scone, muffin or cinnamon roll, I had to earn the right to, usually by eating “clean” and exercising excessively.

It was only after consuming many bunches of greens and running many sweaty miles, that I’d give myself permission to sink my teeth into a buttery baked good without feeling guilty or ashamed. I had worked hard for it!

Earning the Right to Eat
Do you ever feel like you have to earn the right to eat something in particular or to eat at all? Do you question whether or not you deserve to? 

It often looks something like this:

• I had a big lunch at the restaurant so I shouldn’t eat much for dinner, even though I’m really hungry.

• I going to diet for the next few weeks so I can eat whatever I want on vacation.

• With a body like mine, I don’t deserve to eat what I actually want.

• I had a really hard day today; I've earned this ice cream!

• I really overdid it on the holiday candy, so no dessert for me this week.

• Since I skipped my workout this morning, carbs are off-limits today.

• As long as I eat good during the week, then I'm allowed to eat anything I want on the weekend.

• I’m celebrating my birthday tonight so I need to burn some serious calories at the gym this morning.

An Oppressive Belief System
Our diet culture’s “earn it and burn it” mindset is damaging and dangerous.

It fuels the diet mentality, drives disordered eating and, ultimately, negatively impacts your physical, mental, emotional and social health.

The idea that you have to earn the right to eat is an oppressive belief system created by diet culture. It causes you to obsess about what you shouldn’t eat and punish yourself for your "bad" choices rather than trust your inherent ability to nourish yourself.

You Deserve to Eat—No Matter What
There is nothing in the world that makes you unworthy of food.

Despite what diet culture wants you to believe, your eating does not have to be earned or paid for. 

You have the right to consume whatever you want, whenever you want and however much you want. 

You have the right to eat what looks good, tastes good and feels good in your body.

You deserve to eat without judgment, guilt or shame.

You deserve to eat without justifying, questioning, monitoring, moralizing, counting and compensating.

You deserve to eat with ease, freedom and gusto.

You deserve to eat no matter what.

It's your birthright.

Innate Capacity to Trust Your Body
Like all humans, you were born with the innate capacity to trust your body, your appetite, your instincts and your desires.

Diet culture disconnects you from this inner knowing. But you can reclaim it.

You can start by noticing when you question if you've earned the right to eat or if you deserve to eat. When that voice in your head pops up, hit the brakes and challenge your thinking.

Ask yourself: Where did this belief come from? Is it true? Is it based on my inner cues or external rules? Is it helpful or harmful? Is it driving a fraught, disordered relationship with food or a peaceful, trusting, pleasurable one? 

This type of self-inquiry will help you free yourself from our toxic diet culture and empower you to reclaim your ability to eat intuitively so you can spend your time, energy and headspace on more fulfilling, meaningful pursuits.