I’ve Wasted So Much Time Thinking About Food and My Body

I’ve wasted so much time thinking about food and my body!

Does this sound familiar?

If so, you’re not alone.

It’s a frustration expressed by many of my clients. One I can really relate to as well.

Years ago, when I was determined to change my diet and weight, a huge chunk of my time, energy and headspace went toward obsessing about my body, eating and exercise.

Countless days and nights were spent online researching weight-loss strategies, dieting tricks, healthy eating tips, and fat-burning workouts.

I wasted many minutes meticulously tracking calories consumed and burned (this was before all the fancy gadgets and apps that now do the math for you) then judging myself as either good or bad depending upon my bottom line.

I fretted away hours thinking about how to avoid social situations that could potentially tempt me with forbidden foods and cause me to lose control.

I was consumed by intense cravings for my off-limits foods and depleted from exerting so much eating restraint.

I was often swept away by the shame spiral I felt when I fell off the wagon then was distracted strategizing how I could make up for my food sins.

Incessant Noise in My Head
No matter where I was at or who I was with, I constantly thought about how my body looked, the number on the scale, what I should or shouldn’t be eating, and what my next meal and workout would look like.

This incessant noise in my head prevented me from truly being engaged with life and present for those around me.

My preoccupation with my weight, food and exercise pretty much became a 24x7 job.

I had very little left to give to the much more important aspects of my life, like my relationships, social life, career, spirituality and hobbies.

I truly believed obtaining the perfect diet and body would enrich my life. When, in reality, it sucked all the life out of it.

Tired of Wasting My Life
After a lot of unnecessary suffering, I finally reached a point where I didn’t want to waste my life anymore being held hostage by my diet mentality, anti-fat bias, and long list of exercise and food rules.

Instead of devoting all my precious resources to micromanaging my eating and manipulating my size, I devoted them to breaking up with diet culture and healing the deep wounds it had caused.

With commitment, compassion and patience, I was able to cultivate a peaceful, balanced relationship with food and my body.

In doing so, I freed up an incredible amount of time, energy and headspace for more meaningful, fulfilling pursuits, including helping others escape diet culture and reclaim their life.

What Freedom Looks Like
Here’s how a few of my clients lives have changed:

“I fell back in love with reading, inhaling 23 fiction and nonfiction books across 3 months. My attention span has strengthened, and I've noticed I can sit quietly during movies and thoughtful conversations and go hours without thinking about food.

Most importantly, my husband and sister mention repeatedly how thankful they are that I regained space in my mind to keep their needs equal with mine, allowing them to lean on me in hard times (vs. years of non-stop obsession and talking about my weight, diet and fitness).” –Ellen C. (who has since also enrolled in a creative writing course)

“Since I don’t obsess over food anymore, it’s not constantly on my mind, which has allowed me to focus my energy on other things, like work, relationships and being active. I used to stress about food all the time and now I hardly think about it. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.” –Natalie F.

“I’m more relaxed, happier and focused on enjoying my life rather than the continual weight and diet issues that consumed me prior to doing this work.” –Jennifer S.

How Would Your Life Change?
With all the New Year’s resolution talk about diets, detoxes, reboots and resets, it’s understandably very tempting to jump on the bandwagon.

Before you do, consider if it will truly help you create the relationship with food and your body you long for.

If you feel like you already waste a lot of time and energy obsessing about your eating, workouts and weight, know that engaging with a diet/wellness/lifestyle plan that includes food rules, dietary restrictions and exercise regimens will only exacerbate your preoccupation.

I encourage you to pause and ask yourself: Is this how I want to spend my precious resources? How would my life change if I didn’t spend so much time and energy thinking about this stuff? What would be possible?

Wishing you peace, love and joy in 2020!

5 Gifts to Give Yourself this Holiday Season

If you’re desiring a more peaceful, trusting and relaxed relationship with food and your body, here are five gifts to consider giving yourself this holiday season.

1/ Wear Comfortable Clothing
You know those holiday party clothes in your closet that haven’t fit comfortably in years, if ever? Get rid of them.

Instead, buy, borrow or rent an outfit that fits your here-and-now body—one that makes you feel fabulous instead of frustrated.

2/ Smash Your Scale
It’s so easy to let the number on your scale define you, to dictate how you feel about yourself and determine how you go about your day.

By smashing your scale, you're reclaiming your power from a worthless piece of junk that’s completely incapable of measuring your innate worth and overall wellbeing.

Of course, you can donate your scale; however, it’s a lot more fun to smash it! Just be sure to wear safety goggles.

3/ Silence Your Food Grinch
Silence the Grinch (a.k.a. the Food Police) in your head that says you’re being bad and will have to pay for eating all the yummy holiday fare.

Unless you stole the food or harmed someone to get it, there is absolutely no reason to feel bad, guilty or ashamed about your food choices. Nor do you ever have to make up for your eating.

(For more holiday Intuitive Eating tips, click here.)

4/ Take Timeouts
Despite all the delight the holidays bring, the season can be quite stressful. When you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to become disconnected from your body and its needs.

Strive to take regular timeouts for rejuvenating, centering self-care, whether it’s going for a walk, soaking in the tub, meditating by the fire, or getting lost in a book.

You can also try my number-one holiday stress buster.

5/ Ditch Dieting
Resolve to not jump on the dieting bandwagon come January. And when I say dieting, I mean any eating, lifestyle or wellness plan with a bunch of food rules and restrictions.

Diets erode your ability to trust your body and your instincts, and negatively impact your physical and psychological wellbeing. Plus, they suck all the joy out of eating and living.

Beyond the Holidays
If you want to get off the dieting roller coaster and give yourself the gift of a more peaceful relationship with food and your body that lasts well beyond the holidays, I invite you to check out my individual coaching program.

4 Intuitive Eating Tips for a Peaceful Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving can be a stressful time, especially if you have a fraught relationship with food. Following are four Intuitive Eating tips to help you navigate the holiday (and every day) with greater ease.

1. Fire Your Internal Food Police
Your internal food police are the loud voices in your head that tell you that you’re “good” or “bad” based on what or how you ate.

They try to enforce the unreasonable rules diet culture has created and make you feel guilty and ashamed about your food choices. And, they compel you to take compensatory measures to make up for your “food sins,” like exercising excessively or detoxing post-holiday—unhelpful behaviors that usually backfire.

In order to have a peaceful relationship with food, you must fire your food police by challenging your beliefs and rules and removing any morality and judgment surrounding food.

Keep in mind that…

• All foods are morally and emotionally equal regardless of their nutritional value. A baked sweet potato is equal to sweet potato pie; eating one or the other doesn’t make you good or bad.
  

• Making peace with food means giving yourself unconditional permission to eat whatever looks good, tastes good and feels good in your body, without internal judgment or external influence.
  

• All foods fit in a balanced diet. This includes everything from turkey, stuffing and green-bean casserole to Brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes and mac-and-cheese. 
  

• Normal eating includes sometimes eating simply for pleasure and sometimes eating until you're stuffed. Neither one is a crime you have to pay a penance for.
  

• Unless you stole your food or harmed someone to get it, there’s no place for guilt in your eating world.
  

2. Set Boundaries with External Food Police
Your external food police are people who say things like “Do you really need more mashed potatoes?” or “You’re gonna regret that second slice of pecan pie!”

Regardless of the food cop’s intentions, you have the right to eat whatever you want without having someone negatively comment on, criticize, judge or question your choices.

Whether it’s a family member, partner or friend patrolling your eating, it’s important to set boundaries regarding what comments are inappropriate and unwelcomed. Here are a few comebacks:

• I trust myself to give my body what it needs.
  

• You mind your own plate and I’ll mind mine.
  

• I know you mean well, but your comments aren’t helpful.

Head on over to here for more ideas.

3. Say No to Food Pushers
Whether they are trying to express their love, be a gracious host or offload their extra food, food pushers can be tricky to say no to, especially when they’re persistent. However, you’re under no obligation to take food you don’t want, either because you’re full or simply don’t desire it.

If a simple “No, thank you” doesn’t work, try responding with:

• It looks so yummy but I’m full; I’d love to take some home or get your recipe.
  

• I’d really love to eat more, but couldn’t possibly swallow another bite without feeling uncomfortably full.
  

• I know I usually say yes, however, I’m trying to honor the messages my body is sending me, and right now, it's telling me it's full! I’m sure you can respect this.

4. Squash the Diet and Weight Talk
“I’m being so bad! Today is definitely my cheat day!"

“This is a calorie bomb! We'll need to burn this off tomorrow!”

"I can't believe how many carbs I'm eating. I'm going to pay for this!"

During the Thanksgiving feast, it’s not uncommon to hear remarks like these. Nor is it uncommon for such remarks to trigger feelings of anxiety, guilt and shame.

Set an intention before the festivities to not participate in diet and weight talk. Instead, switch the topic to travel, sports, movies or the reason for the season—gratitude.

I hope these tips help you have a more peaceful and relaxed relationship with food, both on Thanksgiving Day and every day of the year.