Once I Open the Bag, I Can't Stop!

I wonder if you can relate to any of this story?

Ever since she was a kid, Kendra loved barbecue potato chips. They reminded her of summer pool parties, lakeside picnics and backyard cookouts.

When she began dieting in her 20s, she rarely let herself eat them. Her beloved salty snacks had been put on her “bad” foods list.

However, making the chips a forbidden food backfired. Depriving herself of them only intensified her cravings.

Soon they became one of Kendra's "trigger foods."

When she would break down and finally eat the chips, her eating felt out of control.

Once she started crunching away on them, she couldn’t stop. She ate with a sense of urgency, barely even tasting them.

Halfway through the bag, she’d tell herself, “What the hell. I’ve come this far, I might as well keep going since I’m never letting myself have these again. By polishing them off now, I'll be able to get back on track tomorrow.”

As she licked the barbecue seasoning off her fingers, Kendra would be overcome with tremendous guilt and shame.

These feelings, coupled with the overeating, provided her with false evidence that she simply couldn’t be trusted with the chips. She vowed to never let them cross her lips again.

But she couldn’t stop thinking about them!

The Habituation Effect
Feeling obsessed with your forbidden foods is a natural outcome of dieting and deprivation. Telling yourself you can’t have something often makes you want it even more.

When you make foods off limits, whether it’s chocolate, ice cream, bread, chips or fries, it elevates their desirability, reward value and power.

In order to make peace with the chips and stop her restrict-binge-repent-repeat cycle, Kendra needed to experience the habituation effect.

Habituation means the more you eat a particular food, the less appealing and enticing it becomes.

As its novelty and allure wears off, the food becomes neutral. It’s no longer a big deal. You desire it less. (You’ve probably experienced this with leftovers.)

Forbidden-food rules, food restriction and dieting prevent habituation. Lack of habituation, combined with the fear you'll never be able to eat a certain food again, commonly results in intense cravings, overeating and binge eating.

Unconditional Permission to Eat
In the past, Kendra would only allow herself to eat barbecue chips on special occasions since she always ended up losing control and overdoing it.

In order to habituate to the chips, she started to eat them every day, sometimes a few times a day.

At first, Kendra was scared to have the chips around all the time. As she feared, she did continue to overeat them for a while. However, although she didn’t trust herself yet, she did trust the process and stuck with it.

By giving herself unconditional permission to enjoy the chips whenever she wanted and however much she wanted, Kendra was able to neutralize her relationship with them.

Eventually, her desire for the chips diminished. Sometimes she completely forgot they were in her cupboard! When she did want them, she was able to eat an amount that felt just right, completely guilt-free.

Encouraged by the outcome, Kendra slowly started eating her other forbidden foods, gradually rebuilding her self-trust while enjoying a more peaceful, relaxed relationship with food.

It's Okay If I Eat This Because We're in a Pandemic

Does the following sound familiar?

“I’m letting myself eat whatever I want right now because we’re experiencing a global crisis. But once this is over, I’m not going to eat this way anymore.”

If you can relate to this, it’s completely understandable. It’s how diet culture has conditioned us to think.

Only Under Special Circumstances
Diet culture tells us we’re only allowed to eat certain foods under special circumstances.

It makes us believe that it’s okay to eat cake at a weekend birthday party but not on a regular ol’ Tuesday.

It drives us to think we can eat whatever we want on vacation as long as we get back on track once we’re home.

It tells us we can eat our forbidden "bad" foods during a pandemic, yet they must become off-limits again once it passes.

And, it's all a bunch of B.S. The truth is:

You have the right to eat all the available chips, cookies, brownies and bread you desire today—and every day of the year.

You don’t need a special reason, other than it’s what you want.

Diet Mentality vs. Non-Diet Mentality
If you’re feeling the need to justify your food choices during this challenging time (or at any time), you’re likely operating from a deeply ingrained diet mentality—one that includes a lot of rules and beliefs regarding what’s okay and not okay when it comes to eating.

Your experience is much different than if you’re operating from a non-diet mentality—that is, if you’re eating intuitively.

If you’re an Intuitive Eater, you truly know you have unconditional permission to eat whatever you want, whenever you want and however much you want (of course, depending on what food is currently accessible to you).

You don’t feel the need to give yourself special permission to eat certain foods during certain times because you know you can eat them anytime they’re available.

As a result, you don’t have a pandemic permission list.

It’s Okay Now—and Later
If your eating feels off-kilter right now, I encourage you to have compassion for yourself. The entire world is off-kilter right now, so it makes sense that your eating would feel this way too.

If you find yourself thinking “It’s okay if I eat this because we’re in a pandemic,” you are right. It is absolutely okay.

If you want to move toward greater peace, ease and freedom with your eating, you can start by following this thought with “It’s also okay for me to eat this when we’re not in a pandemic.” Because it is. 

Does Your Eating Feel Off-Kilter?

On the day the coronavirus shelter-in-place mandate was announced for San Francisco, I couldn’t remember eating my lunch.

I looked down at my plate and saw crumbs but no food.

The evidence was clear: I had finished my meal. Yet, I was so anxious and distracted, I didn’t recall eating it.

Over the past few days, I’ve also noticed myself eating faster than usual and stockpiling my favorite bread (my ultimate comfort food).

And, I’ve been frequently craving chocolate-chunk ice cream, chocolate donuts and chocolate-chip cookies—all foods that remind me of the ease and simplicity of my childhood.

Has your eating been feeling off-kilter lately, too?

Perhaps it feels scattered, mindless, chaotic or urgent.

Maybe you’re reaching for foods you typically don’t go for. Or eating at odd times for you or eating more than you usually do.

Whether driven by fear, anxiety, stress, sadness, loneliness or boredom, your emotional eating may feel like it’s in overdrive right now.

If this is your experience, please know IT’S COMPLETELY OKAY.

There is nothing wrong with you or with your eating.

A Wise Coping Strategy
There are always very valid reasons why we do what we do when it comes to food.

Using food to navigate difficult emotions is completely understandable and a much-needed coping mechanism during times of distress.

Diet culture has conditioned us to view emotional eating as a bad thing, as a sign of weakness, a lack of willpower, something we must hide, fix or make up for.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

It’s actually a very wise strategy in that the act of eating can be very grounding, soothing and relaxing. It helps calm your nervous system.

It also provides refuge, a safe and secure place to go to when you’re feeling overwhelmed and not sure where to turn or what to do.

Self-Compassion is Key
Rather than feeling like your eating is out of control, beating yourself up for eating “badly” and nose-diving into a shame spiral, which is highly likely if you have a history of dieting and food restriction, I encourage you to practice self-compassion by reminding yourself that emotional eating is a form of self-care.

It’s an easy way to meet your needs, a way to soothe, comfort and take care of yourself when life is hard.

And, with all the uncertainty, disruption and loss right now, life is really, really hard.

So, please, take care of yourself however you can.

Pause and Check In
You might find it helpful to pause and check in with yourself throughout the day. Ask yourself: What am I feeling? What do I need?

Consider what would feel the most nourishing, comforting, calming and grounding.

Maybe it is eating a bowl of ice cream or bag of chips.

Maybe it’s baking cookies, walking in the park, escaping into a book, listening to the birds, cooking a pot of soup, napping in the sunshine, or finding a quiet spot to pray or meditate.

Maybe it’s a combination of things.

Whatever it is, trust it’s exactly what you need.

If you're struggling and would like support, please feel free to reach out. Thankfully, I'm still able to support my clients via video during this challenging time.