Do You Experience A Lot of Food Guilt?

Does your eating often make you feel guilty?

Whenever you experience guilt from eating, it’s often a sign you have a “food rule” you need to let go of.

A food rule is a thought or belief regarding what is or isn’t allowed when it comes to your eating. Here are some common ones:

• No eating after 7 p.m.

• I can only eat a specific number of carbs, calories or points a day.

• No snacking between meals.

• High-carb foods are off limits (e.g., greens are good; bread and pasta are bad).

• Every meal must contain a certain number of protein grams.

• I’m allowed one cheat day a week.

• Foods made with white flour, added sugars, etc. are forbidden.

• Gluten is a no-no (even though I don’t have celiac disease or a gluten intolerance).

• No sweets.

• No seconds.

Although often well-intentioned, there are many problems with food rules. For example, they…

• Disregard your body’s wisdom and needs, including its internal cues of hunger and fullness.

• Dictate your food choices regardless of how your body feels.

• Dismiss your food preferences and desires.

• Generate feelings of deprivation, which often results in intense cravings, overeating and binge eating.

• Provoke a make-up mentality (e.g., I must compensate for eating dessert by skipping breakfast or exercising longer tomorrow).

• Cultivate a mistrustful relationship with yourself, your body and food.

• Inject misplaced morality into your relationship with food (e.g., I'm good if I eat this, bad if I eat that).

• Create an eating environment that breeds feelings of guilt, shame, anxiety, fear, frustration, disappointment, anger, confusion and helplessness.

• Lead to social anxiety and isolation.

• Consume headspace, time and energy that could be devoted to more fulfilling, meaningful, productive and pleasurable thoughts and actions.

• Decrease self-esteem and self-confidence.

• Cause A LOT of unnecessary suffering.

Challenge Your Rules
As you can see, it’s well worth challenging your food rules and examining how they are impacting you.

With a curious, nonjudgmental mind, ask yourself: Where did this rule come from? Is it true? Is it really serving me? Is it based on my own direct experience or an external “authority?” Is it truly honoring, respecting and being kind to my body? Is it reasonable, sustainable, pleasurable and satisfying? Is it flexible enough for my life?

Some of your rules may be top of mind and others may be buried deeper, like lingering rules from past diets or your childhood home you aren’t aware you’re still adhering to.

If you’re unsure if you have food rules, pay attention to emotions like guilt or shame or “should” or “shouldn’t” thoughts that arise from eating. They will point you toward your rules.

If you have trouble identifying or releasing your food rules, yet know you would benefit from doing so, I encourage you to seek support.

Keep in mind, there is no need for food rules—or cause for guilt—when you let your body’s natural wisdom guide you.

How to Make Up for Eating Too Much Halloween Candy

With bowls and bags of Halloween candy scattered around the office and home, it’s easy to eat way more sugar than you typically would.

For many people, eating episodes like this are considered a “food sin” and often lead to a make-up mentality that sounds something like this:

To make up for this, I will…

• skip breakfast and lunch tomorrow.
• work out extra hard all week.
• not eat sugar for the next 30 days.
• go on a detox diet for a week.

This penance approach frequently results in a vicious cycle of restricting and overeating. It’s ineffective, exhausting and demoralizing—and terribly unenjoyable.

The key to escaping this cycle is to stop believing you have to make up for your eating decisions—and stop making a fix-it plan.

Instead, when you feel like you’ve committed a “food transgression,” just go on with your life. Instead of feeling guilty and shifting into make-up mentality, resume doing what you always do.

And listen to your body. It will tell you what it needs.

For example, you may wake up and find your appetite is smaller than usual. So eat a smaller breakfast. Or, you may find you’re hungry for your usual breakfast. So have that.

Don't deny or punish your body because you feel you ate too much the day before. Doing so always backfires. 

By avoiding the make-up mentality, you’ll experience a greater sense of ease and peace with food and your body.

Eating Your Way Through Tough Times

With all the tragic events that have taken place over the past few weeks and months, like me, you may be experiencing a wide range of emotions, from disbelief, sadness and despair to helplessness, anger and anxiety.

You may have also noticed yourself more frequently reaching for a pint of ice cream, bag of chips or box of cookies to alleviate these strong emotions.

This is totally okay.

Eating sometimes for emotional reasons is part of normal eating.

It’s simply an attempt to take care of yourself—a coping strategy when times are tough.

The important thing is to not beat yourself up over it. 

It’s much more helpful to view each experience as an opportunity to learn more about yourself—to expand your self-awareness and cultivate more wisdom.

Doing so will help you approach future emotional eating episodes with a greater understanding of your true needs and a larger set of tools for fulfilling them.

Pause and Reflect
When you find yourself turning to food to regulate uncomfortable emotions, hit pause and ask yourself:

What need am I trying to fulfill with this food?

Maybe it’s comfort, pleasure, relief, distraction or connection.

Once you’ve identified what it is you really need, reflect on what will help you get it.

For example, if you discover what you’re really seeking is connection (not cookies), consider how you can meet this deeper need.

Perhaps it’s talking with a loved one, support group or therapist; playing with your dog; spending time with Mother Nature; volunteering in your community; or engaging with like-minded activists.

Whatever you come up with, add it to your toolbox.

Curiosity and Compassion
Sometimes you won’t know what you truly need until after you’ve brushed the chip crumbs off your shirt or washed the chocolate off your fingers. Keep reflecting; the answer will eventually come to you.

The key is to approach your emotional eating with curiosity and compassion, rather than criticism and judgment.

Doing so will enable you to become more aware of what drives your eating decisions, and empower you to have a different relationship with food—not a perfect one, but a more relaxed, trusting and peaceful one.

Screw It!
Even as you become more attuned to your true needs, you may sometimes say, “screw it!” and choose to emotionally eat. Again, this is totally okay and normal.

When you do make this more conscious choice, let go of any negative self-talk.

You know, that voice in your head that says, “I shouldn’t be doing this. I’m breaking the rules and being bad. I’m must make up for this food sin by working out extra hard and skipping breakfast and lunch tomorrow.”

Instead, squash that voice, sit down, and slowly savor every single bite.