I'm Being So Bad! I Shouldn't Be Eating This!

Some years ago, while dishing up a bowl of oatmeal in the buffet line at a retreat center, a guest next to me was adding fresh berries to her granola.

As she drizzled honey on top of the fruit, she turned to me and said, “I’m being so bad! I’m not supposed to be eating this!”

Her comment caught me off guard. 

Uncertain how to respond, I just smiled at her and went about my breakfast-gathering business.

Hoping to Hear
I’m not exactly sure what response the woman was looking for, but I have a few ideas.

It’s possible she was hoping for some reassurance that she and her actions were okay, that she wouldn’t get caught cheating on her diet or completely go to pot after eating an apparently forbidden food. 

Maybe she felt that by confessing her “food sin” she’d be absolved of the guilt she was feeling.

Perhaps she wanted me to give her some sort of permission, like, “Hey, you only live once—go for it!” or “Heck, you work hard, you deserve it!”

Or she might have been hoping for a bonding moment, a shared experience of being bad. Something along the lines of, “I hear ya. I’m going to pay for eating all these carbs!”

Lasting Impression
Although it lasted only a few seconds, the encounter left a lasting impression on me.

I was struck by her need to call attention to her food choice, especially to me, a complete stranger. It was as if she was trying to say, “I know better! I usually don’t eat like this so please don’t judge me based on this one food crime.”

Even though exchanges like these are quite common and normalized in our diet-obsessed culture, the entire episode left me feeling a little sad for her, for myself, for all of us. 

I actually could really relate to what the woman was experiencing because I saw myself in her. I likely would have said something similar when I was entrenched in diet culture, following a bunch of food rules and worried about what others might be thinking about my choices.

Toxic Diet Culture
This is what our toxic diet culture has done to us. 

It has convinced us that there are good and bad foods and that we’re either good or bad depending upon which list we choose from. 

It’s made us believe our food choices are a reflection of our character, value, worth, willpower and intelligence.

It has conditioned us to feel guilty and ashamed of our innate human desire to eat and enjoy pleasurable food. 

It’s trained us to think we need to apologize and atone for our so-called eating transgressions.

And, it’s caused us to waste a ton of time, energy and headspace thinking about what we should or shouldn’t eat.

Designed to Keep Us in Line
Food moralization is an oppressive belief system designed to keep us in line. In our attempt to conform, to be good, to obey the rules, many of us have developed a fraught relationship with food.

It doesn’t have to be this way. 

At any moment, you can decide to defy diet culture, cultivate a morally neutral relationship with food and ultimately reclaim your power.

Perhaps your first step is simply becoming more aware of when you judge your eating decisions—and thus yourself—as good or bad. Start to question whether this is really true and if such black-and-white labeling is helpful or harmful.

Stealing is Bad; Eating Food Isn’t
If I could go back in time to that buffet line, I would look at that woman with compassion and empathy and say something that may have helped her view the situation and her beliefs differently, something like: 

Are you stealing the food? No? Well, then there’s absolutely no reason to feel bad or guilty. Truly. Enjoy your breakfast. Lick the bowl clean. Don't look back.

You Don't Have to Earn Your Pie. Or Make Up for Eating It.

Along with all the delicious food, the Thanksgiving holiday often comes with an unsavory serving of diet culture.

For a pleasurable, peaceful eating experience, keep in mind these Thanksgiving don’ts:

1. You don’t have to earn it.
Despite what diet culture wants you to believe, you don’t have to do anything to earn your Thanksgiving meal. You don’t have to do an intense workout or not eat all day to deserve a spot at the table. 

2. You don’t have to make up for it.
Just like you don’t have to earn the right to eat, you don’t have to make up for your eating after the holiday by working out extra hard, skipping meals or starting a cleanse or diet.

3. You don’t have to justify.
Whether it’s having seconds or thirds, filling your plate with mostly mashed potatoes, or eating pie for breakfast, you don’t have to justify your choices to anyone. You have the right to eat whatever you want, whenever you want.

(For tips on handling the Food Police in your life, head on over to here.)

4. You don’t have to feel bad.
Diet culture wants you to feel bad, out of control, weak, guilty and ashamed for eating a lot. You don’t.

It’s normal to sometimes eat simply for pleasure and to sometimes eat until you're stuffed, especially when enjoying foods that are novel and only around for a brief period.

5. You don’t have to participate.
Just like people who avoid discussing religion, politics and money, you don’t have to participate in diet and weight talk.

One approach for navigating it, especially when dining with a wide range of people, is to nonchalantly change the subject.

For example, if your cousin starts raving about his latest diet or your mom comments on someone's weight, steer the conversation toward a different topic, such as “I’d love to know what shows everyone is into right now” or “What’s your favorite holiday memory?”

Of course, these five don’ts are helpful to practice not just on Thanksgiving, but every day of the year. 

Weight-Loss Drugs, Sugar Addiction and More

It’s been a while since I shared a round-up of some of the content I’ve been consuming lately.

I hope you find the following pieces illuminating and helpful. Once you check out the ones you're interested in, I think you'll be as grateful as I am for these incredibly smart and gifted content creators.

Ozempic
There’s been a lot of buzz regarding the new weight-loss drugs in the past year. In this episode of Maintenance Phase, Aubrey Gordon and Michael Hobbes do a deep dive into the research and discuss the (often problematic) discourse surrounding these medications. 

It’s an informative, balanced and thoughtful review—one you’re unlikely to get from mainstream media.

What’s the Deal With GLP-1s?
On her Find Your Food Voice podcast, registered dietitian Julie Duffy Dillion explains how GLP-1 drugs, like Ozempic and Wegovy, work, explores some of the research and unknowns, and discusses their potential side effects and contraindications. 

Why Sugar Isn’t As Bad As You’ve Been Told
In this Rethinking Wellness podcast episode, registered dietitian Christy Harrison talks with sociologist and Sugar Rush author Karen Throsby about the demonization of sugar despite scientific uncertainty, the connection between anti-sugar sentiment and anti-fat bias, the research behind sugar addiction, and more.

Similar to Christy, I was also trained years ago by my health coaching school to teach people to be hyper-vigilant about sugar. Thankfully, I also changed my ways as I gained a better understanding of the research, diet culture, disordered eating, the harms of binary thinking and food moralism, social determinants of health, and more.

The Burnt Toast Guide to Kids and Sugar
Speaking of sugar, Virginia Sole-Smith recently published this comprehensive guide to kids and sugar, which covers topics like sugar highs and sugar addiction and provides guidance and resources on how to navigate your own and your kids’ relationship with sugar. 

Even if you don’t have kiddos in your life, I think you’ll find much of the information to be helpful.

Eugenicists Shaped the Pathologized Way Many Americans Think About Nutrition Today
In this fascinating and infuriating article, writer and public health dietitian Anjali Prasertong examines the connection between early dietetics and eugenics. 

“The science of modern nutrition was born deeply entwined with the ersatz science of eugenics, a tangle that mixed up morality with food choices, blending ‘eating white’ and ‘eating right.’ And as much as today’s nutrition community would like to distance ourselves from the harmful teachings and practices of [the Progressive Era], many of the ideas about dietary choices and health born during this time are still alive and well.”

What’s the Cultural Significance of a Calorie?
I’ve shared before how counting calories really messed with my head. On this Getting Curious podcast episode, Jonathan Van Ness discusses the history and politics of the calorie with Dr. Athia Choudhury, including how this metric represents so much more than a number on the back of a chip bag.

Last but not least, in case you missed it, in June I shared my summer reading list. I was fortunate to have the time to read every book and highly recommend them all.

To empowering yourself with knowledge!