Why I Couldn't Stop Eating Conversation Hearts

Valentine's Day reminds me of a time in my life when I couldn’t be left alone with a bag of conversation hearts without eating every single one of those pastel sugar bombs. And, thanks to handfuls of those cutely packaged Valentine’s Day mini candy bars, February afternoons at my corporate gig became much more bearable.
 
Of course, my sweet tooth didn’t rear its demanding, insatiable head just in February. Bingeing on sugary treats was a year-round occurrence back then. Eating them made me feel alive when I felt dead inside from doing unfulfilling, uninspiring work.
 
The less alive I felt, the stronger my desire was for quick hits of intense food. When I flatlined, sugar was my lifeline.
 
A Symbolic Substitute
For many of us, sugar is a symbolic substitute for fulfillment and freedom. For others, it’s salty snacks, fatty foods, booze or pot. These things take us to a place where we can forget--albeit temporary--about the dissatisfaction and discomfort in our lives. We use them to leave ourselves when life gets hard.
 
It’s not that these things are necessarily bad, or that we’re bad people for consuming them, or that they shouldn’t be a source of pleasure. Challenges arise when we rely on them to fulfill a need they were never ever meant to fill.
 
If this sounds all too familiar, what steps--big and small--can you take to feel more alive in your day-to-day existence?
 
How can you infuse more vitality into the realms of your life that feel lackluster and lifeless, whether it’s work, relationships, intimacy, physical movement, spirituality, personal growth, creativity, etc.?
 
Take a minute to write down all the things that make you feel more alive. Don’t hold back. 
 
A few items on my list include: aligning my passions and values with my career, running at sunrise, re-centering at yoga, challenging my body with a new workout, walking with a friend, reading a captivating book, learning new ideas, hiking along the coast, planning trips, exploring foreign lands, losing myself in a creative project, helping others, and connecting with my coaching clients.
 
What makes you come alive?
 
Remember, food can fill you up, but it can’t fulfill you.

Where I've Been and the Power of Gratitude

I just returned from an amazing solo trip to Laos and Cambodia (hence the reason I haven’t been posting lately). Traveling is one of my greatest passions; it truly feeds my soul.

Exploring foreign lands, especially developing countries, always gives me a wider perspective on life and deeper gratitude for all that I have, like clean water, hot showers and easy access to medical care. It also reminds me of how little one needs to be happy.

The Power of Gratitude
Like travel, the holidays also serve as a wonderful reminder to be grateful for all that’s good in our lives. However, the benefits of practicing gratitude year-round are endless from a stronger immune system, sounder sleep and reduced stress to increased energy, more rewarding relationships and greater life satisfaction.  

6 Simple Gratitude Practices
Here are six simple practices to help you cultivate a daily attitude of gratitude:

1. Keep a gratitude journal by recording five or so things big and small everyday that you’re grateful for.
   

2. Create a gratitude jar. Anytime you experience a poignant moment of gratitude, write it on a piece of paper and drop it in a jar. Once or twice a year, perhaps on your birthday and New Year’s Eve, empty the jar and review everything you wrote.
   

3. Write a gratitude letter to someone who has had a profound impact on your life expressing your appreciation for all the gifts she or he has given you.
   

4. Share the day’s grateful moments around the dinner table. Doing so will surely lead to some heart-warming, memorable conversations.
   

5. When you tuck your kiddo into bed or snuggle up with your partner at night, share three things each of you are grateful for.
   

6. Express gratitude for each part of your body as you apply lotion to it. For example, thank your legs for enabling you to exercise, your arms for carrying your child, or your hands for performing millions of miracles throughout the day from tying shoes and texting friends to scratching your dog's belly and selecting a perfectly ripe avocado.

With Deep Gratitude,
Renee

Do You Control Your Appetite?

Naturally, after recently bragging to a gym mate about how I hadn't been sick in years, I was struck down with a nasty flu bug. My long list of symptoms included zero appetite. Not only was I not hungry, everything I ate tasted awful.

After nearly two weeks, I knew I was on the road to recovery when I woke up with a voracious appetite. It felt so good to feel hungry again. It felt exquisite to once again experience pleasure from food.

Controlling Appetite
This experience prompted me to reflect on the importance of appetite. So often, people ask me how they can control or suppress their appetite. It's common to view our appetite as the enemy, something that can't be trusted, something to fear, something that must be controlled.

When you think about it, however, your appetite is essential for life. It keeps you alive by telling you it's time to eat. Fighting it simply goes against the laws of nature.

Fighting your appetite often leads to intense cravings, overeating and binge eating. And, fighting anything puts your body in the physiologic stress response.

Yet, so many of us have been trained to believe that having an appetite is bad and that controlling it is good.

In Caroline Knapp's book, Appetites, she speaks of our culturally conditioned suspicion that "hungers themselves are somehow invalid or wrong, that indulgences must be earned and paid for, that the satisfaction of appetites often comes with a bill...appetites are at best risky, at worst impermissible...yielding to hunger may be permissible under certain conditions, but most likely it's something to be Earned or Monitored and Controlled. A controlled appetite, prerequisite for slenderness, connotes beauty, desirability, worthiness."

Your Appetite: Friend or Foe?
What's your relationship like with your appetite? Is it your friend or foe? Do you trust it, fight it, ignore it, override it? Are you grateful for it, or frustrated by it? Do you feel anxious when it calls, powerful when you restrain it, or weak when you cave into it?

Finding Your Natural Appetite
While it may take some time, it is possible to cultivate a relaxed, life-affirming relationship with your appetite. Doing so requires tuning into the wisdom of your body and trusting it to guide you--not some external forces or a belief that wanting food says anything about who you are as a person.