How Do You Control Your Appetite?

Naturally, after bragging about how I never get sick to a gym mate, I was struck down with a nasty flu bug. My long list of symptoms included zero appetite. Not only was I not hungry, everything I ate tasted awful. 

After nearly two weeks, I knew I was on the road to recovery when I woke up one morning with a voracious appetite. It felt so good to feel hungry and get pleasure from food again.

Controlling Appetite
My experience prompted me to reflect on the importance of appetite. 

Every day, we're bombarded with messages about how to control, suppress or conquer our appetite. Thus, it's no surprise that many of us view our appetite as the enemy, something that can't be trusted, something to fear, something that must be controlled.

When you think about it, however, your appetite is essential for life. It keeps you alive by telling you it's time to eat. Fighting it simply goes against the laws of nature. 

Fighting your appetite also leads to cravings, binge eating and overeating. And, fighting anything puts your body in the physiologic stress response, which increases cortisol, a hormone that, when constantly elevated, contributes to adverse health conditions.

Yet, so many of us have been trained to believe that having an appetite is bad and that controlling it is good. 

In Caroline Knapp's book, Appetites, she speaks of our culturally conditioned suspicion that "hungers themselves are somehow invalid or wrong, that indulgences must be earned and paid for, that the satisfaction of appetites often comes with a bill...

...appetites are at best risky, at worst impermissible...yielding to hunger may be permissible under certain conditions, but most likely it's something to be Earned or Monitored and Controlled. A controlled appetite, prerequisite for slenderness, connotes beauty, desirability, worthiness."

Your Appetite: Friend or Foe?
How would you describe your relationship with your appetite?

Is it your friend or foe? Do you trust it, fight it, ignore it, override it? 

Do you feel anxious when it calls, powerful when you restrain it, or weak when you cave into it?

Finding Your Natural Appetite
It is possible to cultivate a natural, easy and life-affirming relationship with your appetite. Doing so requires tuning into the wisdom of your body and trusting it to guide you—not some external forces or a belief that wanting to eat says anything about who you are as a person.  

Do You Need to Lose This?

A few years ago, a very attractive, stylish woman in her young 50s stood up at a conference we were both attending and talked about her lifelong struggle with weight. 

I will never forget how moved I was as she spoke about spending her entire life obsessing over losing 10-20 pounds, desperately running from one diet and exercise program to the next in hopes that she would finally find the perfect formula for achieving the perfect body and ultimately, the perfect life. 

She tearfully shared her fear that she would still be dieting on her deathbed and that her only legacy would be one of a chronic dieter.

I admired her courage to share her story with the audience. I think of her often when others courageously share with me their own weight-loss journeys, and their frustration with the amount of time and energy they spend loathing their bodies and striving to change them.

Naturally, we all want to feel good in our bodies. However, what we really need to lose is not weight, but the belief that we are not lovable, worthy and enough just as we are.

The conference woman spent decades in self-imposed imprisonment. For years, she put her life on hold as she clung to the belief that until she reached her ideal body, she would never be good enough. 

She admitted she was at the event in hopes that it would provide the magic solution she'd spent more than 40 years searching for. And, in all actuality, it did. For what she discovered was that the acceptance and love she longed for was already within her and accessible at that very moment--and it had absolutely nothing to do with a number on a scale.

"Nothing less than freedom comes when you can let go of being somebody who needs to be different in order to be okay." -Mary O'Malley, Author

What I'm Tuning Into [Favorite Podcasts]

I’m a podcast junkie. 

I listen to them while I cook, clean, walk, drive and ride the bus. They make washing dishes, folding laundry and sitting in traffic so much more enjoyable.

I love how podcasts enrich my life. They fill my mind with new ideas and different perspectives, inspire me to take a different path, help me better understand myself, make me laugh, cry and ponder, and nourish my soul.

I listen to a variety of podcasts from Fresh Air and Freakonomics to Dear Sugar. Here are a few of my favs in the realms of health and well-being that you may enjoy as well:

Psychology of Eating
Breakthrough coaching sessions with Marc David, one of my teachers and the founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. Covers topics from cravings and emotional eating to chronic dieting and body image.

Tara Brach
Weekly dharma talks and guided meditations by Tara Brach, a well-known, warm, wise and witty meditation teacher, author and psychologist.

The Splendid Table
An enlightening and entertaining show on all things food, from culture and politics to history and cooking tips. I also enjoy The Sporkful, America’s Test Kitchen Radio and Bon Appetit Foodcast.

Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Tips on how to make and break habits, and live an overall happier life, from New York Times best-selling author Gretchen Rubin and her sidekick sister. 

On Being
Krista Tippett asks big questions on the meaning of life in her provocative conversations with a range of thought leaders from artists, authors and activists to philosophers, researchers and scientists.

10% Happier
Newsman and author Dan Harris talks with smart people about mindfulness and meditation for fidgety skeptics.

Perhaps one or some of these podcasts will resonate with you, too, and provide some good company on your next summer road trip.

Happy Listening!