Today, I’m Getting Back on Track!

Today, I’m getting back on track!

How many Mondays have you said this to yourself?

How many times have you started your week with promises to eat better, eat less, eat clean, eat perfectly?

If this sounds familiar, you’re so not alone. It used to be my weekly pattern.

On Sunday nights, I would lie in bed regretting how badly I felt I had eaten all weekend.

To quiet my inner food police and alleviate the guilt, shame and anxiety I felt, I’d promise myself that, starting tomorrow, things would be different.

Full of Hope
I’d wake up Monday feeling excited and hopeful about getting my act together.

Often, I’d be “good” and feel in control for the first few days of the week.

By Thursday night, however, things would start to fall apart. My discipline and willpower would begin to diminish.

I’d find myself obsessing about food, giving into my cravings, breaking my food rules, and reuniting with all the “bad” foods I declared off-limits on Monday.

I’d try to fight it for a while, but eventually, I’d just throw my hands in the air exclaiming, “What the hell; I might as well just go for it because come Monday, I’m never letting myself do this again!”

Endless Cycle
Every weekend became a Last Supper.

It was an endless, exhausting cycle.

When I finally hit rock bottom and realized how damaging my diet mentality was, I began taking steps toward healing my relationship with food and my body.

This included breaking up with diet culture, ditching my diet mentality and food rules, and learning how to trust my body and eat intuitively again.

Of course, this didn’t happen overnight.

Intuitive Eating is not a quick fix. It is, however, a pathway to freedom.

Since there are no rules and no illegal foods, there's no possibility of being bad, failing the plan and getting thrown in dieting jail.

No Wagon
Now, Mondays are just another day for me.

The idea of “getting back on track” doesn’t enter my mind on the first day—or any day—of the week.

I always tell my clients you can’t fall off the wagon with Intuitive Eating because there is no wagon!

Not Your Fault
Engaging in the “I’m getting back on track” mindset is nothing to feel bad or ashamed about.

It’s a practice we learn from our $72 billion diet industry—a pervasive, insidious and oppressive industry that profits from you feeling crappy about your eating and your body.

The good news is: you have a choice. You can keep hopping on and off the wagon. Or you can ditch the wagon all together.

Are You a Pseudo Dieter?

After years of jumping from one diet to the next and being a slave to the scale, Val hit rock bottom.

Fed up with the weight-loss roller coaster and obsessing over every morsel she ate, she swore off dieting.

Yet, months after joining the "anti-diet" movement, she still shuns carbs, never eats after 7 p.m., and runs a few extra miles whenever she has dessert.

Val is a pseudo-dieter.

She genuinely believes she’s given up dieting, yet she continues to engage in dieting behaviors.

As a result, she still experiences many of the side effects of dieting, including feeling anxious when eating in social situations, intense food cravings, feeling out of control with her “trigger foods” (ice cream and chips), and feeling guilt, shame and anger when she thinks she’s eaten badly.

Deeply Ingrained
As with Val, the diet mentality can be so deeply ingrained—or hidden under the guise of “health" or "wellness” or "lifestyle changes"—that many of us “non-dieters” don’t realize we’re actually pseudo-dieting and that our restrictive eating behaviors and food rules make us vulnerable to the physical and psychological damage dieting causes.

Here are some more examples of pseudo-dieting:

• Eating only “clean” or “whole” foods.

• Limiting macronutrients or portion sizes regardless of what your body desires or needs.

• Compensating for eating “bad” foods by doing extra exercise, skipping your next meal, eating less tomorrow, or going on a detox.

• Eating at only certain times of the day despite your hunger level.

• Becoming vegan, vegetarian, gluten-free, etc. for the sole (and often secret) purpose of losing weight.

• Putting on a “false food face” in public by eating what you think you should rather than what you really want (e.g., ordering the healthiest item on the menu, forgoing the breadbasket, skipping dessert).

• Determining what you deserve to eat based on what you ate earlier in the day or if you exercised, rather than your hunger level.

Given our insidious, pervasive diet culture, it’s completely understandable if you identify as a pseudo-dieter. I was one for years and had no idea how my well-intentioned beliefs and behaviors were negatively impacting me.

Releasing the Diet Mentality
Just like an official diet program, pseudo-dieting disconnects you from your body inhibiting your ability to hear and honor the messages it’s sending you.

And, as I mentioned earlier, all restrictive eating, no matter how it’s labeled, leaves you vulnerable to the pitfalls of dieting, from binge eating and weight cycling to social withdrawal and a preoccupation with food.

If you want to heal your relationship with food and your body, you need to truly let go of the diet mentality and relearn how to nourish your body based on its internal cues versus external rules.

As pseudo-dieting behaviors can be quite subtle and disentangling from diet culture can be very difficult (but not impossible!), it can be helpful to receive support and guidance. I’m here for you if you need me.

Source: Intuitive Eating: A Revolutionary Program that Works.

I’ve Wasted So Much Time Thinking About Food and My Body

I’ve wasted so much time thinking about food and my body!

Does this sound familiar?

If so, you’re not alone.

It’s a frustration expressed by many of my clients. One I can really relate to as well.

Years ago, when I was determined to change my diet and weight, a huge chunk of my time, energy and headspace went toward obsessing about my body, eating and exercise.

Countless days and nights were spent online researching weight-loss strategies, dieting tricks, healthy eating tips, and fat-burning workouts.

I wasted many minutes meticulously tracking calories consumed and burned (this was before all the fancy gadgets and apps that now do the math for you) then judging myself as either good or bad depending upon my bottom line.

I fretted away hours thinking about how to avoid social situations that could potentially tempt me with forbidden foods and cause me to lose control.

I was consumed by intense cravings for my off-limits foods and depleted from exerting so much eating restraint.

I was often swept away by the shame spiral I felt when I fell off the wagon then was distracted strategizing how I could make up for my food sins.

Incessant Noise in My Head
No matter where I was at or who I was with, I constantly thought about how my body looked, the number on the scale, what I should or shouldn’t be eating, and what my next meal and workout would look like.

This incessant noise in my head prevented me from truly being engaged with life and present for those around me.

My preoccupation with my weight, food and exercise pretty much became a 24x7 job.

I had very little left to give to the much more important aspects of my life, like my relationships, social life, career, spirituality and hobbies.

I truly believed obtaining the perfect diet and body would enrich my life. When, in reality, it sucked all the life out of it.

Tired of Wasting My Life
After a lot of unnecessary suffering, I finally reached a point where I didn’t want to waste my life anymore being held hostage by my diet mentality, anti-fat bias, and long list of exercise and food rules.

Instead of devoting all my precious resources to micromanaging my eating and manipulating my size, I devoted them to breaking up with diet culture and healing the deep wounds it had caused.

With commitment, compassion and patience, I was able to cultivate a peaceful, balanced relationship with food and my body.

In doing so, I freed up an incredible amount of time, energy and headspace for more meaningful, fulfilling pursuits, including helping others escape diet culture and reclaim their life.

What Freedom Looks Like
Here’s how a few of my clients lives have changed:

“I fell back in love with reading, inhaling 23 fiction and nonfiction books across 3 months. My attention span has strengthened, and I've noticed I can sit quietly during movies and thoughtful conversations and go hours without thinking about food.

Most importantly, my husband and sister mention repeatedly how thankful they are that I regained space in my mind to keep their needs equal with mine, allowing them to lean on me in hard times (vs. years of non-stop obsession and talking about my weight, diet and fitness).” –Ellen C. (who has since also enrolled in a creative writing course)

“Since I don’t obsess over food anymore, it’s not constantly on my mind, which has allowed me to focus my energy on other things, like work, relationships and being active. I used to stress about food all the time and now I hardly think about it. I feel like a big weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.” –Natalie F.

“I’m more relaxed, happier and focused on enjoying my life rather than the continual weight and diet issues that consumed me prior to doing this work.” –Jennifer S.

How Would Your Life Change?
With all the New Year’s resolution talk about diets, detoxes, reboots and resets, it’s understandably very tempting to jump on the bandwagon.

Before you do, consider if it will truly help you create the relationship with food and your body you long for.

If you feel like you already waste a lot of time and energy obsessing about your eating, workouts and weight, know that engaging with a diet/wellness/lifestyle plan that includes food rules, dietary restrictions and exercise regimens will only exacerbate your preoccupation.

I encourage you to pause and ask yourself: Is this how I want to spend my precious resources? How would my life change if I didn’t spend so much time and energy thinking about this stuff? What would be possible?

Wishing you peace, love and joy in 2020!