Are You Breaking Your Own Heart?

This passage from author and wise woman Anne Lamott really resonates with me:

“Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.”

In the past, I’ve shared how I let my so-called inadequacies and imperfections stop me from fully living.

I let the size of my body dictate the size of my life.

It breaks my heart when I think about how much time, energy and life force we waste berating ourselves for not having a better body and obsessing about how to fix it.

I often wonder, if we weren’t thinking about this, what would we be thinking about?

Where would we be putting all our energy?

How different would our lives be?

How different would the world be?

My highest intention is to help end this needless suffering so none of us dies wishing we would have gone swimming.

Pick a New Direction
I’ve seen with myself and with my clients that it is possible to replace criticism with compassion, judgment with curiosity, loathing with loving, rejection with acceptance, playing small with living big.

As Anne Lamott says, it all starts with the willingness to...

“Pick a new direction, one you wouldn’t mind ending up at, and aim for that. Shoot the moon.”

Have You Given Away Your Power?

There were times in my past when I hated my body for not being perfect.

I’d conceal it under baggy sweatshirts and pants. I'd dodge mirrors. I’d hide on the couch instead of going to parties. I’d push away boyfriends when they tried to wrap their arms around my waist.

Many of us reject our bodies when they don’t conform to the ideal size and shape dictated by our culture.

However, rather than self-rejection, what we really need to reject are the lies we’re incessantly fed (and buying into) about how our bodies are supposed to look.

We need to reclaim our power by loving and accepting our bodies unconditionally, and not becoming victims of the profit-making machine that thrives on making us feel inadequate, deficient, less than.

How I Reclaimed My Power
When I started partnering with my body instead of rejecting it, our relationship drastically changed. I began experiencing a sense of ease, peace and freedom I hadn’t felt since I was a very young girl (before I started believing all the BS).

Here are some of the ways I took back my power:

• I stopped believing I could hate, deprive, restrict, starve and punish myself into a version of myself that I finally loved and accepted.
   

• I started trusting my body again to guide me toward food choices based on what my body really wanted and needed. I no longer made eating decisions based on calories, diet plans, my weight, how many miles I ran, etc.
   

• I stopped feeling guilt and shame when I ate so-called “bad” foods.
   

• I stopped constantly weighing myself and letting the number on the scale dictate my feelings, mood and behavior.
   

• I fired my inner mean girl and started speaking to my body—and about it—with kindness, compassion, respect and gratitude.
   

• I created a more body-positive culture by ditching media (e.g., magazines, TV shows, websites) that promoted and perpetuated the thin ideal.

This journey hasn't been fast or easy. But, man, has it been worth it. I’m still a work-in-progress, but I’m never turning back.

How can you reclaim your power?

Do Your Meals Include This…?

During a recent family visit, we reminisced about how my mom would make a heart-shaped meatloaf and individual heart-shaped Jell-O desserts for our Valentine’s Day dinner when we were kids.

While the meal was tasty, what made it the most memorable was the best ingredient of all: love.

When food is prepared with love, it embodies an energetic quality that nourishes us on a much deeper level than food hastily prepared without much care or consideration for those consuming it.

Think about some of your most memorable meals. Were they infused with love?

Cooking for One
Some of my clients declare they don’t like to cook for themselves.

Why bother going to all the trouble? They either pop a frozen dinner into the microwave, order take-out, or dine on cheese and crackers.

When they start cooking for themselves to improve their physical health, they are surprised to discover how their homemade meals also elevate their mental, emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

They hadn’t anticipated how profoundly nourishing it is to slow down and devote time, energy and care toward thoughtfully planning, preparing and consuming their meals.

An Act of Self-Love
Cooking for yourself is an act of self-love. It shows you’re worth the effort.

I love the ritual of selecting ingredients at my local farmers’ market to prepare meals for myself.

While I enjoy cooking for others, I find the experience of crafting my own meals to be very meditative, grounding, therapeutic, pleasurable, empowering, rewarding, and nourishing on every level.

If you currently view cooking for yourself or others as a burden, I encourage you to start adding love into the mix. It truly is the most powerful ingredient you can infuse your food with.

P.S. "You don't have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces — just good food from fresh ingredients." –Julia Child