What if You Resolved to Do This in 2021?

Happy New Year!

Whether or not you like to make New Year’s resolutions, here’s one intention for the coming year you may want to consider.

Resolve to be kind to your body.

Really, truly kind.

Here’s what body kindness might look like:

• Rejuvenating your body with abundant rest and sleep.

• Moving your body in a joyful way and breaking free from your Exercise Police (no punishing, painful or compensatory workouts).

• Speaking to your body—and about your body—with respect, appreciation, compassion and tenderness.

• Stepping off the dieting roller coaster and away from the physical and physiological harm dieting can cause.

• Listening to and honoring your body’s needs and desires, including its hunger and fullness cues (versus following external eating rules).

• Eating foods that satisfy your body’s need for both nourishment and pleasure.

• Wearing clothes that you love and comfortably fit your here-and-now body.

• Immersing your body in nature, nourishing it with sunshine and fresh air.

• Relaxing your body with deep breathing, stretching, meditation, a massage, a bubble bath, calming music or other soothing activities.

• Thanking your body every day for everything it does for you (like breathing!).

How Would Your Life Change?
I encourage you to reflect on what body kindness means to you and how your life would change if you were kinder to your body.

And, I invite you to consider that your body is a celebration of your survival and it wants more than anything to be your partner throughout this life journey.

How I Stopped Obsessing About Food

When I was in college, I participated in an aerobics class that was held in the basement of some random office building near campus.

I was able to attend for free in exchange for arriving early to set the room up for class, which meant pushing all the desks, chairs and trashcans out of the way so there was plenty of space for leg kicks and grapevines.

Right next to the building was a small cookie shop that baked the most delicious double-chocolate chip cookies. You could smell them a block away.

While sweating away under the fluorescent lights in that low-ceiling makeshift dance studio, I fantasized about sinking my teeth into one of those chewy, gooey delights—a big no-no on my fat-free diet.

Distracted by my food fantasies, I was often sidestepping to the right when everyone else was moving to the left. 

A Major Distraction
I can recall many times when my obsession with food, especially my forbidden foods, prevented me from being fully engaged in my life and present for those around me.

I remember being distracted at a bridal shower by the chocolate layer cake I so badly wanted but wouldn’t let myself have because it would have blown my calorie count for the day.

I spent numerous work meetings preoccupied with the bagels on the table that were off-limits because they didn’t fit into my idea of a healthy diet.

At parties, I barely recalled conversations with friends because my mind was on the pizza box, cheese platter, chip bowl or brownie plate—all “illegal” foods.

Constant State of Deprivation
I thought about food ALL THE TIME. It consumed my life.

Back then, I didn’t understand that the reason I spent so much time, energy and headspace thinking about food was because I was living in a constant state of deprivation.

As a result of all my food rules and restrictions, I incessantly thought about what I could eat, should eat, shouldn’t eat and really wanted to eat.

Unconditional Permission to Eat
When I finally stopped trying to micromanage my diet and force my body to be a size it was never meant to be, my preoccupation with food went away (along with many of the other harmful side effects of dieting).

By slowly learning how to eat intuitively, which includes unconditional permission to eat whatever I want whenever I want, food took a balanced place in my life.

When my deprivation ended, my obsession ended.

The intensity, anxiety, stress and shame I once experienced with food were replaced with a sense of ease, peace, expansiveness and freedom.

As a result, I have so much more space in my life for more important and meaningful things than obsessing about cookies. Now I just enjoy them and move on.

What's Your Experience with Last Supper Eating?

Some years ago, I went to see a naturopath about some health challenges I was having. As part of my treatment, she asked me to eliminate some foods from my diet, including gluten. Desperate to feel better, I agreed to do so.

I gave myself one last week to eat all my favorite gluten-containing foods.

During those last few days, I vividly recall feasting on artisanal sourdough loaves from my beloved local bread maker.

I also raided all my favorite bakeries loading up on blueberry scones, chocolate-chip cookies, veggie focaccia and chocolate-fudge cake.

The idea of future deprivation drove this intense phase of one-last-shot, now-or-never eating. I happily gorged on gluten while simultaneously grieving the end of our relationship.

Can you relate to this behavior?

It’s called Last Supper Eating.

Farewell-to-Food Feast
Before embarking on a new diet, plan or program, have you ever found yourself eating everything in sight, especially the foods that will soon be forbidden?

Or perhaps you planned one last elaborate meal featuring all the dishes that would be off-limits starting tomorrow.

If you’re a yo-yo dieter, you’re likely very familiar with this pre-dieting ritual.

Like many of my clients, you may view this period of intense, frantic consumption—which is often followed by overwhelming guilt—as “proof” that you need to restrict your eating because you simply can’t control yourself around food.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The threat of food restriction can naturally trigger a farewell-to-food feast. It’s human nature to respond this way to deprivation.

Yet, it’s so easy to go into self-blame and shame.

How to End Last Supper Eating
Intuitive Eating puts an end to Last Supper Eating.

With Intuitive Eating, there is no deprivation. You have unconditional permission to eat whatever looks good, tastes good, and feels good in your body.

Instead of depriving yourself and eating according to a set of rules, you ask yourself: Is this food satisfying? Do I like how it tastes and how it makes my body feel? Would I choose to eat this again or feel this way again?

What Works for Me
When I started reclaiming my ability to eat intuitively, I asked myself if I actually liked the gluten-free foods I was eating.

The gluten-free bread, for example, was tolerable. It wasn’t delicious; it was simply an expensive vehicle for nut butter.

Since it wasn’t medically necessary for me to eliminate gluten (i.e., I don’t have celiac disease), I experimented with eating my beloved breads again, along with other gluten-containing foods—and my body felt just fine.

Although well-intentioned, the diet the naturopath put me on didn’t improve my health. It just left me feeling deprived and unsatisfied, which always backfires.

As an Intuitive Eater, I now determine what works best for me by staying attuned to the messages my body sends and focusing on what's satisfying.

If I skip a particular food because I don’t like how it tastes or feels in my body, I don’t view it as deprivation but rather as self-care and body kindness.

It feels really good to know I’ve had my last Last Supper.