This Crushed My Dream of Becoming a Solid Gold Dancer...

In my tween years, I loved to watch Solid Gold. I’d leap around my family room mimicking the dancers’ provocative moves. I fantasized about becoming one of them, until…

…I heard that Solid Gold dancers couldn’t weigh more than 100 pounds.

I don’t recall where this rumor came from, but I’ll never forget it. It crushed my dream and instilled in me the belief that to be a hot, sexy female, I needed to keep the scale from tipping past 100 pounds. With a naturally pudgy belly, I had a feeling this would be tough for me.

Faulty Formulas
In my teenage years, I learned a new “formula” for calculating a woman’s ideal weight: 100 pounds for the first 5 feet of height, and then an additional 5 pounds for every inch over 5 feet.

At 5’ 5”, this meant that if I weighed more than 125 pounds, I would be considered overweight.

I’m pretty amazed at how deeply ingrained in my brain this calculation became. And how much unnecessary suffering it caused me. And I’m not alone. Many other women often recite this same formula when I ask them how they determine how much they should weigh.

It’s sad that so many of us bought into such a simplistic formula that doesn’t take into consideration so many key factors, such as genetics, race, age, bone density, muscle-fat ratio and your state of health.

Just because someone is thin, it doesn’t mean they are healthy. When I was at my lowest weight and living on dry toast and fruit (while bingeing on cookies), I was anything but healthy.

Don’t even get me started on the BMI.

Finding Your Natural Weight
No formula or person can or should dictate your weight. Healthy, beautiful bodies come in all shapes and sizes and all bodies deserve to be treated with respect, dignity and care.

I no longer rely on an external tool, formula or myth that discounts the incredible uniqueness of my body to tell me what I should weigh. 

Instead, I’ve discovered that by trusting my innate body wisdom, including honoring its needs and desires for food, rest, movement and more, my body will settle at its natural weight—one that I can maintain without struggle, deprivation, rigid rules or hypervigilance.

I will never meet the rumored criteria for becoming a Solid Gold dancer or our society’s standards for the perfect body, but that’s okay. I’d rather love, accept and care for the body I’ve been blessed with than waste one more minute trying to shape shift it into something it was never meant to be.

I wish the same for you.

Vegan? Paleo? Raw? Which Way is the Right Way?

Years ago, after hearing a leader in the raw food movement speak with such passion and conviction regarding the power of a raw food diet, I was ready to give it a whirl. Until my acupuncturist told me raw foods were not good for my constitution and a girl at my gym shared how her hair started falling out when she became a raw foodist. I decided this path might not be for me, and was actually relieved, as one of my all-time favorite dishes is a hot bowl of homemade soup.

Then I learned about the blood type diet. I was intrigued until I discovered that my O blood type meant I would function best on a meat-centric diet. I stopped eating meat when I was 17 for a variety of reasons and really didn't want to return to my meat-eating ways.

Some years later, after reading a book on the dangers of gluten, I was convinced if I ate one more kernel of wheat, it would kill me. So I started playing around with a gluten-free diet.

I've listened to various experts talk about dairy over the years, and as a result, I’ve gone from skim milk to whole milk to raw milk to coconut milk.

I could go on and on regarding my history of bouncing around from one idea to the next, but I think you get the point.

Confused? Join the Club.
It’s easy to become confused and overwhelmed by the constant influx of new information and varying opinions on nutrition, diets, health and wellness. Much of it is quite compelling, extremely convincing, very tempting and maddeningly contradictory.

Vegan? Paleo? Low carb? Low fat? Gluten? Whole wheat?

Three square meals a day? Or, fast two days a week?

What’s a person to do?

This is what I do, and what I tell my clients:

Your body is utterly unique.

So are your nutritional needs and food preferences. A way of eating that works for someone else may not work for you. There is no one-size-fits-all approach.

Experiment with an open mind to discover what works best for YOUR body—not your boyfriend’s, best friend’s or favorite celebrity’s body.

Tune into the messages your body is sending you. It will tell you if dairy gives you gas, if diet soda gives you a migraine, or if coffee gives you acid reflux. It will show you if it thrives on a vegetarian diet or one with animal protein—or if it feels best somewhere in between.

In order to hear the wisdom of your body, you must slow down. You must be willing to pay attention and make connections, then honor what your body is telling you.

Remaining flexible is also key. Your body and nutritional needs are constantly changing. What worked for you three years ago, may not work for you today.

Connecting the Dots
Figuring all of this out can feel like a daunting task, especially if you’re not used to listening to and trusting your body.

If you want support, give me a shout. I can help you connect the dots and determine what way of eating works best for YOU.

I promise you, the freedom, empowerment and ease that come from crafting your own personal diet are so worth it.

Why I Lived on an Apple and Candy Bar a Day

St. Patrick's Day always stirs up a poignant memory. 

When I was 12 years old, I spent hours in a department store with my mom desperately searching every rack for the perfect green shirt to wear to school on St. Patrick's Day. It was the night before and, with empty hands, I quickly spiraled into a state of distress. Without the perfect shirt, I was absolutely convinced my entire holiday would be ruined.

Funny thing is, I can't remember anything about the actual holiday. But my memory of how distraught I felt is crystal clear. At such a young age, I was completely hitching my happiness to my appearance. Over time, the perfect shirt turned into the perfect hair and, eventually, the perfect body. 

In junior high, if my hair didn't look just right, I spent the entire day in a funk. I remember pointing out to friends how awful it looked. It was critical that I acknowledged it first before they had a chance to say anything (the perfect strategy for protecting myself from my own imaginary ideas about what they were thinking!).

My Apple and Candy Bar Diet
My obsession with obtaining the perfect body escalated in high school. The most intense months were after my boyfriend broke up with me. I lived on an apple and candy bar a day. I figured if I was skinnier, he would regret dumping such a hot chick and come crawling back. Being skinny meant I would be more desirable, acceptable, lovable and cool--basically boyfriend-worthy and bulletproof.

My boyfriend did come back, but the size of my jeans didn't stop my heart from being broken again and again.

A 20-Ton Shield
My never-ending quest for perfection is defined so well by Brene Brown, researcher and author of The Gifts of Imperfection:

"Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfectly, look perfectly and act perfectly, we can avoid the pain of blame, judgment and shame. It's a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from taking flight."

Body Bashing Banned
Thanks to help from a handful of wise teachers and coaches, I started releasing my deeply ingrained beliefs regarding perfectionism, especially when it comes to my body. No longer are my days consumed and ruined by my body bashing. No longer does all my energy and headspace go toward fixing it. Naturally I want a strong, healthy body but I no longer believe I will be more happy, lovable and worthy when I fit into my skinny jeans.

I've made peace with my reflection in the mirror. I won't lie; it wasn't easy. Not at first. But I kept at it. Whenever I caught myself going down the path of self-attack, I hit the breaks and turned toward love. As a result, I feel lighter on my feet and in my body, but more importantly, I feel lighter in my heart.

Is your quest for the perfect body, weight, diet, workout regime, relationship, job, or whatever stopping you from taking flight?