Why We Crave Hot-Fudge Sundaes (or Cookies, Chocolate, Cake…)

I recently had the pleasure of participating in a workshop with Geneen Roth, author of many books including the New York Times bestseller Women, Food and God (a book Oprah referred to as "an opportunity to finally end the war with weight and unlock the door to freedom.")
Geneen was among the first to link compulsive eating and chronic dieting with deeply personal and spiritual issues that go far beyond food, weight and body image.
A Hot-Fudge Sundae Life
During a workshop discussion regarding the compulsion to binge on sweets, Geneen said something that really resonated:
"It's not that we want hot-fudge sundaes; we want our lives to be hot-fudge sundaes."
Can you relate?
Like me, don't you crave a sweet, smooth, rich, delicious, pleasure-filled, blissful life?

Not only do we want our life to be a hot-fudge sundae, we want how allowing ourselves to have the hot-fudge sundae (or cookies, chocolate, wine, etc.) makes us feel--special, deserving, loved, accepted, pampered, comforted, serene--even if these feelings are fleeting.
Become A Pleasure Seeker
There is always an exquisitely good reason for what and how we eat. For one, we're wired to desire sweet flavors and driven to seek pleasure and shirk pain. However, as my mentor Marc David says, "It's easy to use sugar as a substitute for a life that's not as sweet as you'd like it to be."
So, rather than relying entirely on sweet treats to make your life more sugary, what else would sweeten your days?

How can you bring more love, pleasure, comfort, connection and fulfillment into your life?

Add these things into your world and your longing for sugar will naturally diminish as your life becomes the hot-fudge sundae you once madly craved.

Something Oprah Told Me...

Let me tell you something Oprah told me. Well, not exactly to my face, but it certainly felt like she was speaking directly to me during her final show a few months ago. Here's what she said:

"We are all called. Everybody has a calling and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and get about the business of doing it."

Do you know what your calling is?

Do you ever think about it?

I didn't much until I was laid off a few years ago. For the first time ever I didn't have someone or someplace to report to. No boss, no teacher, no parent. What I did have was an incredible opportunity to start over. To cultivate a life that was in total alignment with my morals, values and passions.

At this time, I also realized that I had spent the past 15 years in various marketing gigs simply because of a decision I made when I was 18 to major in advertising. Crazy, huh?

I was content at my jobs, but I wasn't very inspired or fulfilled. Eventually I looked for fulfillment in other places, in particular in food.

I became obsessed with food blogs. I'd sneak bites of them throughout my work day to keep me going. They delighted me when my work didn't.

I also started micromanaging every little morsel I ate. Doing so gave me a sense of purpose and control. In bed at night I'd review my intake for the day, deciding if I'd earned a gold star or not.

Restoring Food to Its Rightful Place
Unhealthy habits and obsessive behaviors manifest when something in our life is out of balance. For many it's our jobs. Work can be one of the most dysfunctional areas of our life.

When I got clear on my purpose and started following my calling--supporting others on their journey toward optimal health--I became more emotionally and spiritually fulfilled and mentally stimulated. As a result, food has been restored to its rightful place. It's still important, but it no longer demands the enormous head space and energy it once did.

Fire In My Belly
My work as a health coach puts fire in my belly and gives my life deeper meaning. I now have greater congruity between my heart and soul and my career.

Your life's purpose does not need to be attached to a paycheck, however. I also believe it evolves over time. Everything does. The first step is to figure out what it is. The second is to figure out how to start doing it.

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." -Howard Thurman

What makes you come alive?

What puts fire in your belly?