It's OK to Eat Ice Cream in Bed—And Hate Exercise

I find it so helpful to remember that, despite what diet and wellness cultures want you to believe, it’s completely okay to…

Eat when you’re sad, stressed, lonely or bored

Crave something sweet after a meal

Get seconds

Dislike cooking

Eat while watching TV

Enjoy bread

Use food to help you focus

Eat cheese and crackers for dinner

Hate exercising

Clean your plate

Eat chips straight from the bag

Snack late at night

Buy processed foods

Eat freely on days you don’t work out

Go for dessert first

Turn to food for comfort

Eat ice cream in bed

Unnecessary Suffering
Like most of us, diet and wellness cultures have likely made you believe you’re being bad, naughty or unhealthy if you don’t adhere to their constantly changing and often contradictory food and exercise rules.

As a result, you may experience a lot of anxiety, guilt or shame when you don’t do the “right” thing. I certainly used to! 

My food and exercise “sins” would often keep me awake at night as I fretted over how I messed up and how I would make up for it the next day. 

A big part of Intuitive Eating is about identifying and challenging all the unhelpful rules and beliefs that cause you so much unnecessary suffering and prevent you from having a flexible, comfortable, satisfying and peaceful relationship with food and movement. 

I encourage you to pause and reflect on what some of your rules are. Most of us have a pretty long list!

It’s such a relief when you fully believe you’re not doing anything wrong, a bad person or morally inferior if you snack when you’re stressed, skip your workout or eat ice cream in bed. 

Today, I'm Getting Back On Track!

Today, I’m getting back on track!

How many Mondays have you said this to yourself?

How many times have you started your week with promises to eat better, eat less, eat clean, eat perfectly?

This used to be my weekly pattern.

I would lie in bed on Sunday night regretting how badly I felt I had eaten all weekend.

To quiet my inner food police and alleviate the guilt, shame and anxiety I felt, I’d promise myself that, starting tomorrow, things would be different.

Full of Hope
I’d wake up Monday feeling excited and hopeful about getting my act together.

Often, I’d be “good” and feel in control for the first few days of the week.

By Thursday night, however, things would start to fall apart. My discipline and willpower would begin to diminish.

I’d find myself obsessing about food, giving into my cravings, breaking my food rules, and reuniting with all the “bad” foods I declared off-limits on Monday.

I would try to fight it for a while, but eventually, I’d just throw my hands in the air exclaiming, “What the hell! I might as well just go for it because come Monday, I’m never letting myself do this again!”

Endless Cycle
Every weekend became a Last Supper.

It was an endless, exhausting cycle.

When I finally hit rock bottom and realized how damaging my diet mentality was, I began taking steps toward healing my relationship with food and my body.

This included breaking up with diet culture, ditching my diet mentality and food rules, and learning how to eat intuitively again.

Of course, this didn’t happen overnight.

Intuitive Eating is not a quick fix. It is, however, a pathway to freedom.

Since there are no rules and no illegal foods, there's no possibility of being bad, failing the plan and getting thrown in dieting jail.

Just Another Day
Now, Mondays are just another day for me.

The idea of “getting back on track” doesn’t enter my mind on the first day—or any day—of the week.

If you have a pattern of "starting over tomorrow" with your eating, please know that the desire to do so is completely understandable. It's natural to turn toward whatever might make you feel better.

However, instead of being stuck on this emotionally-draining roller coaster, I invite you to reflect on how it would feel to have a steady, peaceful relationship with food. How might your life change if every day of eating was just another day?

I Finished Off the Cake to Save Myself from Eating Badly Tomorrow

I stared at the remaining chocolate cake on the plate.

Although I was full and no longer getting much pleasure from it, I finished it off.

My rationale for doing so was basically:

Let me just get this over with so I can go back to being good tomorrow.

Have you ever had an experience like this, dear reader?

I used to do it all the time with all kinds of foods I considered “bad,” from cake, cookies and chips to pizza, pastries and ice cream.

In my mind, if I got rid of the “bad” food by eating it (throwing it away felt wasteful), then I’d have a better chance of getting back on track the next day.

Calmed My Anxiety
Driven by a deeply entrenched diet mentality, every night I would judge my day of eating as either good or bad.

Knowing a “bad” food wouldn’t be in my house to tempt me tomorrow helped calm my anxiety about having another bad day of eating, especially if I felt I had been on a streak of bad eating days.

It felt reassuring to know I would be able to go to bed tomorrow and feel good about my eating and, ultimately, myself.

Finishing off food for this reason was never an enjoyable eating experience.

Rather, it was my way of saving my future self from negative feelings about myself.

Although I couldn’t see it then, this “looking out for myself” was actually a form of self-protection. I was simply trying to take care of myself.

Eat and Move On
My need to polish off a food so I could start fresh the next day diminished when I challenged my diet mentality and stopped labeling food and my eating as good or bad.

By making all foods morally and emotionally equivalent, I no longer feel compelled to eat something just to get rid of it so I can feel more in control and better about myself the next day.

It’s now easy to wrap up whatever’s remaining to enjoy later because I stopped putting conditions on my eating and don’t feel guilty about eating anything at any time.

This doesn’t mean I never finish something off and reach a point of uncomfortable fullness. I absolutely do!

Sometimes, I’ll make a conscious decision to eat all of the cake or the pizza or the ice cream even though I’m full simply because I’m really enjoying it—not because I’m scared of it.

My intentions have changed and my eating is no longer a big deal. Now, I just eat and move on.

If my “eat it all now to get rid of it” story sounds all too familiar, please know it is possible for you to have a more relaxed, neutral and peaceful relationship with food, too.

I don't have any magical powers. If I can do it, so can you.